Day Two

So it’s day two… I had to get up for work early and have now just arrived home. So I am super tired and overly emotional. Last night I got a text from my missionaries mother, she forwarded me an email from the stake presidents wife saying he had arrived safely, along with some pictures of him with his new companions that would be training him. I woke up and found that email about three in the morning which was really nice. Sometime after I fell back asleep I had a weird dream where I went to go visit him and meet his companion because my family was having a family reunion there. Weird, I know, but anyway, I got to go talk with him and hang out with him but I wasn’t aloud to touch him or get too close or this alarm would go off. Then I woke up.

Today has been kind of rough, not gonna lie. Work was a nice distraction though. Everything reminds me of him, and he is all I can think about. I find myself wondering if he is thinking about me as well. He is probably too busy and should be focusing on the tasks the lord has given him. I would hope that he his. I hope he is handling this transition well.

When I got home I was nervous to check the mail, because if I didn’t have a letter I would probably cry, and if I did I would probably bawl upon reading it.

I had a letter. It was actually a letter he had sent just before he left. It was adorable, and it was on this vintage looking paper with a wax seal, which is pretty awesome. The picture up in the right hand corner. It was just a letter to let me know he was thinking of me and that he would get me his address as soon as possible. Oddly enough I was more comforted by the letter than anything else. I had recently read some stuff on the internet that was anti waiting for missionaries and it had kind of shaken my faith in our relationship. The letter helped me to see that his feelings had not changed and I once again felt like I could do this with the lords help. Also I wasn’t exactly just “waiting for him”. I mean I was but I wasn’t. I decided to swear off dating for two years. Not because he asked me to or I was afraid I’d find someone else, but because these next two years are mine. Mine to discover who I am as a person, to complete any goals I may have, to climb the ladder, to change into the woman I have always wanted to be. I totally support dating while your missionary is gone for two years but I just made a personal choice so that either way, if we end up together or not, I have a plan.

I love my missionary so much, and this is so hard for me to be apart from him, and the worst part is I can’t tell him how down it makes me because I want him to be strong, so I have to be strong for him. Two years is a long time and that’s kind of scary. But I can’t wait until I see him again.

I often find myself day dreaming about what it will be like once he’s home. (When I’m emotionally up for it). That helps me to feel better, because if we can just survive this one test, then we have pretty much made it, and I think thats pretty cool. So I will continue to count the hours, and the days until I have him home once again. Until next time :)