Day Fourteen

Day Fourteen… It’s only been two weeks, yet if feels like it has been two years. I miss him so much. Tomorrow is his P-day and I want so badly to get on and talk with him, but I have work at 11 :( exactly when he gets on.

My car battery died today but my grandpa thinks he fixed it. I also went to the singles ward today and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I am going up to Salt lake this weekend to pick up my missionaries car which I got from him. One of my really good friends is driving me up. My other friend is trying to get us tickets to Sunday General conference. I really hope she is able to get them.

Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen… Hmm that sounds so weird. I miss him :( I miss him a lot today. It’s really hard to not be able to talk to him about it. Always having to be so upbeat in my letters. I really miss him, and although I am trying to use this time to better myself, I find that I am just counting down until it is an acceptable time to go to bed. I really hope he is doing well and that he knows I am proud of him. Heaven knows I have told him a zillion times.

Day Twelve

Ah its day twelve! I got a letter from him today. Garage cat came home. She was locked in the neighbors shed. I went to music fest in Zion with Marissa and got a cute slave bracelet and glowy egg rock for my missionary just for fun. I miss him. I’m tired. Goodnight! :)

Day Eleven

It’s day eleven… It was so long. My work flooded so I had to deal with that all day, and now its like eight and I’m already passing out. I don’t know why. I miss my boyfriend :( So much. I seriously count down the hours until I can go to sleep. Also my garage cat is missing and we are pretty sure the neighbor killed her :(

Day Ten

Ten days. It’s been ten days… So like almost half a month. Gosh, today has been so long and stressful. I was at work from 8 in the morning until 8 at night. So 12 hours. We had a work party today so I had to stay behind and help set up and take down. It was fun, but watching all those married couples really made me marriage hungry. Like I want to get married so bad!!!!! UGH! So these next two years need to hurry up.

So I just walked in and am super tired. I miss my missionary and I still need to get ready for bed and read my scriptures! Goodnight!

Day Nine

Well day nine has come and gone. Today was an okay day. I had today off and I didn’t wake up until ten, and I still felt like I could have slept longer. However I had an phone interview with the bank. I think I did alright. I really couldn’t tell because the girl Interviewing me was super awkward and hard to talk to! So we will see. I have a second Interview at a spa as a hike guide! I want this one pretty bad! I feel like I would be so good at it! Especially because I am trying to get my personal trainers license. I just think it would be a good fit. So I will keep you all posted on the results.

So tomorrow is my work party. I made salsa. I hope everyone likes it.

I seriously can’t wait to get a letter from my missionary! I feel like once we get in the swing of this letter thing it will be much easier. I miss him so much and I think about him always. Sometimes I wish I could just fast forward through the next two years. Oh well.

It’s late and I’m off to bed! :)

Day Eight

Wow, so it’s day eight. I can’t believe it’s only been a week! It feels like months! I know I am being a baby.

Today is Monday, Pday, so set an alarm for 8 sat in front of my email until about 11:45 when I finally got the email I had been waiting for. I hurriedly replied back but he didn’t say anything for another 30 minutes. I kept messeging him and his responsed weren’t matching what I was asking or saying. I shortly realized he wasn’t getting my emails :( I seriously cried for an hour. I couldn’t hardly sleep last night because I was so excited to hear from him. Especially since I hadn’t even gotten a letter all week. I don’t know if he ever saw any of my response’s but he kind of talked to me then had to go. I was SO upset. I’m still pretty sad.

But now that I have his address I can write him, and just before he had to go, he told me he was going to write me today. I also wrote him and hurried and sent the letter out. I’m still not sure how many days it takes to send a letter between here and Wisconsin. I’m guessing about three-four days. Which sucks, but is much better than if he were somewhere foreign.

I can’t wait to hear about his experiences. I did get a newsletter update that he sends out to everyone, which was super nice. It gave me a better idea on how things were going. I still feel like I don’t know much though.

I really appreciate my missionaries mother, she has been so awesome, and sweet, by keeping me in the loup. She really has made this week a lot easier and I don’t think she even realizes it. She is a very great person.

I have a job interview at a bank tomorrow! Wish me luck. I’m so nervous. I know my chances are very slim of getting it, but I want it so badly. I’ll try my best and see what the lord has in store for me.

I’m not really sure where my day went. It’s already six and I feel like it is barely noon. Oh well. At least the days are going by faster. I’m hoping they will continue to do so.

I’m getting ready to start a new yoga class, which I am super excited about! I can’t start it until I get all my crazy stressful stuff done this month. I have so many bills this month its insane! I’m not sure how I’m gonna pull it off.

Anyways, today was boring. I hope tomorrow is better. Work has been SO slow, so I am still only working two days a week. Thats why I’m hoping on getting this bank job.

I think that’s about all I have to say for the day. Later! :)

Day Seven

So it’s day seven… One week down. Oh so many more to go. Still no word from him :( however his mother texted me with his address. So now I can mail him. So thats good. Its Sunday so I couldn’t send anything. Today has been SO slow. I feel like I am going crazy!

I miss him so badly. My day dreaming about when he gets home is getting pretty bad. I’d say that’s what I did for about 90% of today.

Tomorrows monday so I am hoping to hear from him. I’m even getting up early to check my email. I know I’m a little crazy. I just miss him so much.

Anyways, it’s super late, I just wanted to check in. Night!

Day Six

So it’s day six, and what a busy day it was. Today I helped my grandfather with yard work. He just bought a new house down the street from us recently, so he asked me to come help him. So I started working about 10:00 and finished around 4:00. It was so hot! I pulled all the weeds in the front yard, and weed wacked, as well as blow torched all the ones I couldn’t pull. I got the weed wacker working and the blow torch working all by myself! It might be silly but I felt pretty accomplished! It was hard but I sure made a dent. My grandpa gave me $50 for helping. I am going to go back and finish either tomorrow or Monday since I have that day off. There is still so much to do.

I applied for some more jobs, I need to start saving up some money, so A, I can move out, B i’ll have money for a wedding and stuff once my missionary returns. I know that is thinking way ahead and some of you are probably like “if there is a wedding” but either way. I’m gonna save up for when he gets home. I also need about $1,000 for my family trip to mexico next year. Which should be easy peasy to save for.

So still no word from my missionary :( I’m hoping for an email Monday I miss him so much it hurts. I can’t wait to hear from him.

Well I’m going to bed. Over and out! :)

Day Five

Day five. I can’t believe it’s day five. Still no word from my missionary. Today was long. I’m gonna go take a nap. Until tomorrow.

Day Four

So it’s day four and I am feeling much better. Nights are still a little rough though. That’s when my mind decides it doesn’t want to sleep and it suddenly needs to think about everything! I still really miss him. I haven’t received a letter yet.. :/ which is kind of hard. I’m hoping for one tomorrow, but we will see.

Today I had work most of the day, which was nice. I really love my job and it is the perfect way to pass the time.

Also There is a palm tree in the right hand corner because I want to go to the beach. So I figured the only sensible thing to do was put a picture of a palm tree there.

OH OH OH!!! I almost forgot! My little sister woke me up super early this morning really panicked, and she was like “Mom broke her ankle! Hurry!” So I ran downstairs to find my mom crumpled in a pile at the bottom step. This was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I helped her wrap her ankle and get ice on it. I offered to take her to the hospital but she didn’t want me to, and she went to work anyway. It turns out it wasn’t broken, just sprained in five places. Which sucks, but is way better than broken.

I also tried out my new shampoo and conditioner without sulfates in them. I love them! They are called Not Your Moms Brand. They are supposed to help with hair growth.

I started reading my scriptures and praying every morning and night since my missionary left. I had been struggling recently and I figured I had better get my butt in gear if I wanted to be on a similar spiritual level when he got home. That is another one of my goals :) I’m excited I have this time to better myself. I still really wish he was here, but I know he is doing the right thing and it will make him a stronger person.

Day Three

Day 3! Only 728 days left! Maybe I’m a little crazy but I bought an app that tracks how many days until your missionary gets home… Yeah I’m weird!

So still no word from my missionary which stresses me out quite a bit. I really hope he’s doing well and knows I am thinking of him. On the bright side I think I’m starting to feel better about this whole situation. I can’t tell though.

One of my best friends came over today and we talked, and pinterested. Then we went to her sisters house to see her sisters two day old baby. He was so cute!! I guess she had an all natural birth and after all the stories I’m not sure I want to have children anymore… Just kidding. But seriously, I didn’t know all that stuff happened…

Anyways, afterward we went to Cafe Rio but there was this young middle school couple that would not stop making out which was sort of really awkward, but what can you do? Then we went to Ulta where I got some new shampoo for growing your hair out long. One of my goals is to have super long hair and be in killer shape when my missionary gets home. Maybe thats a silly goal but it makes me feel better. I’m already obsessed with fitness and my hair so I figured it was a good goal. I do have other goals too, I’m not that weird.

Well it’s been a very good, really long day. It was much needed but now I am heading to bed. Sorry this post was so short. I will try to write more tomorrow. Goodnight :)

Day Two

So it’s day two… I had to get up for work early and have now just arrived home. So I am super tired and overly emotional. Last night I got a text from my missionaries mother, she forwarded me an email from the stake presidents wife saying he had arrived safely, along with some pictures of him with his new companions that would be training him. I woke up and found that email about three in the morning which was really nice. Sometime after I fell back asleep I had a weird dream where I went to go visit him and meet his companion because my family was having a family reunion there. Weird, I know, but anyway, I got to go talk with him and hang out with him but I wasn’t aloud to touch him or get too close or this alarm would go off. Then I woke up.

Today has been kind of rough, not gonna lie. Work was a nice distraction though. Everything reminds me of him, and he is all I can think about. I find myself wondering if he is thinking about me as well. He is probably too busy and should be focusing on the tasks the lord has given him. I would hope that he his. I hope he is handling this transition well.

When I got home I was nervous to check the mail, because if I didn’t have a letter I would probably cry, and if I did I would probably bawl upon reading it.

I had a letter. It was actually a letter he had sent just before he left. It was adorable, and it was on this vintage looking paper with a wax seal, which is pretty awesome. The picture up in the right hand corner. It was just a letter to let me know he was thinking of me and that he would get me his address as soon as possible. Oddly enough I was more comforted by the letter than anything else. I had recently read some stuff on the internet that was anti waiting for missionaries and it had kind of shaken my faith in our relationship. The letter helped me to see that his feelings had not changed and I once again felt like I could do this with the lords help. Also I wasn’t exactly just “waiting for him”. I mean I was but I wasn’t. I decided to swear off dating for two years. Not because he asked me to or I was afraid I’d find someone else, but because these next two years are mine. Mine to discover who I am as a person, to complete any goals I may have, to climb the ladder, to change into the woman I have always wanted to be. I totally support dating while your missionary is gone for two years but I just made a personal choice so that either way, if we end up together or not, I have a plan.

I love my missionary so much, and this is so hard for me to be apart from him, and the worst part is I can’t tell him how down it makes me because I want him to be strong, so I have to be strong for him. Two years is a long time and that’s kind of scary. But I can’t wait until I see him again.

I often find myself day dreaming about what it will be like once he’s home. (When I’m emotionally up for it). That helps me to feel better, because if we can just survive this one test, then we have pretty much made it, and I think thats pretty cool. So I will continue to count the hours, and the days until I have him home once again. Until next time :)

Day One

Hello, my name is Alyssa. I started this blog to help me cope with the fact that my boyfriend has just left on an LDS mission for two years. I’m also hoping to help anyone else who might be going through something similar. So I am by no means an expert, this is day one for me, but I’m trying to handle these raw emotions the right way.  The church advises against getting serious before a mission and I agree. As you can see I did not follow their advice. So here I am.

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off throughout high school and a year and a half consecutively. So about four years total, and we have been very close since we were very young. So I always knew the day would come when he would leave for his mission. But that always seemed very far away, so I would push it to the back of my mind and try not to worry about it. The only thing wrong with doing that is it just kind of sneaks up on you and you feel like you are no where near ready.

A few weeks before he was supposed to leave I  had a mental breakdown, I was sad, moody, grouchy, clingy, and my poor boyfriend didn’t know what to do. He was pretty stressed about leaving me already. If I can give you one piece of advice it would be, make this transition as easy as possible for him. Its a huge decision and will only make him a better person. I know it sucks, and it doesn’t feel fair, but  for these next two years, his world isn’t about you. I know it hurts to hear that. It hurts me to know that, but he is out there making sacrifices for the lord, you are bound to have to make some as well. Which I am sure you will be blessed for. We all will.  

As the time came closer for him to take his leave I started to be myself again. Mainly by pretending he wasn’t really going. Sure I still teared up and my voice would start cracking anytime someone brought up the fact that he was leaving. I’m not sure if my pretending made it easier or harder for me. We already had a long distance relationship, so I figured it couldn’t be too different. It would be the same relationship. I mean minus the phone calls....Texting… Snapchatting…Skyping… no romantic letters....  And no actually physically seeing each other. Well how long is two years really? A FREAKING LONG TIME! THATS WHAT!

The closer it came to him leaving the more of an emotional mess I became/am still. Two years is so long! What if we are completely different people by then? What if he doesn’t like me anymore when he gets home?? What if I don’t like him? What if I get into a car accident and half of my face gets burned off like Two Face from Batman and he doesn’t love me anymore because I turn into a psycho???? What if I’m a loser and have done nothing with my life while he was gone? What if I’m not at the same level spiritually as him when he returns?? All of these things have been running through my mind throughout the last two weeks, and yes they are all valid concerns…. maybe not the Batman one, but looking at most of them I realized there was something I could do.

Stay positive, try to grow and learn spiritually. Work hard, and continue to live my life and try to become a self sufficient human being.We are both going to change, become new people, but as long as we both change for the better I’m hoping things will work out just fine. I’m still counting the minutes on the clock until the end of the day, and let me tell you, the day has gone by so slow.

I planned my entire day out starting by going jogging, cleaning the pool, deep cleaning the kitchen, going to the post office to get some boxes so I could decorate the inside to send to my missionary, stalking him on facebook and Instagram, crying, bugging my dad while he was at work, cleaning my room, making lunch, and then finally starting this blog, and sadly it is only two. :( I know this will get easier but for now this is hard. SO hard. I know there is something I am supposed to learn from this that will make me a better person. Like http://www.normons.com/the-7-stages-of-waiting-for-a-missionary/ talks about. You really do go through the seven stages of grief. I can totally see how I am still stuck in the first stage. Desperately trying to tell myself I still have a boyfriend. Anyway I thought I’d share that link since it helped me so much. Sorry I am so all over the place. Until next time :)

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